All hail to the Gaslight Black.
In the year since I started writing this blog, I would say the philosophy of the Goat helped me enormously. I am not by nature a mean person and find it incredibly hard to be selfish. I sometimes get a perverse enjoyment from doing things for other people, but now I understand that this is not permissable unless it helps me too. I suppose I've gone a bit soft again in certain areas and have allowed some people to use me. I am endeavouring to put a stop to this but I am fighting my nature so at the moment a bit of an internal struggle is going on. The trouble is, I can see beauty even in dark mean streets. I can love the black stone, shiny rain on a dark wet night.
I am having a terrible battle with myself at the moment because I have become nocturnal. I love the night. Yesterday as it is now we stayed up all night, went to the supermarket first thing in the morning then drank brandies whilst getting ready for bed at about 10.00 am. Even the aqueous daylight seemed pleasant then, the brandy glass by the shower door glowing a pleasant warm amber, the cigarette packet full with the cigarettes deliberately denied the previous day (as I restrict how many I smoke!). The morning was a glowing cool green as I leisurely downed another glowing brandy and smoked another cigarette before finally going to bed, my jobs completed, ready to awake to the soft golden glowing lamp in the majestic full body of darkness. What happiness and bliss! How truly fulfilling that which is the cult of the dark...to awake once more.
In the year since I started writing this blog, I would say the philosophy of the Goat helped me enormously. I am not by nature a mean person and find it incredibly hard to be selfish. I sometimes get a perverse enjoyment from doing things for other people, but now I understand that this is not permissable unless it helps me too. I suppose I've gone a bit soft again in certain areas and have allowed some people to use me. I am endeavouring to put a stop to this but I am fighting my nature so at the moment a bit of an internal struggle is going on. The trouble is, I can see beauty even in dark mean streets. I can love the black stone, shiny rain on a dark wet night.
I am having a terrible battle with myself at the moment because I have become nocturnal. I love the night. Yesterday as it is now we stayed up all night, went to the supermarket first thing in the morning then drank brandies whilst getting ready for bed at about 10.00 am. Even the aqueous daylight seemed pleasant then, the brandy glass by the shower door glowing a pleasant warm amber, the cigarette packet full with the cigarettes deliberately denied the previous day (as I restrict how many I smoke!). The morning was a glowing cool green as I leisurely downed another glowing brandy and smoked another cigarette before finally going to bed, my jobs completed, ready to awake to the soft golden glowing lamp in the majestic full body of darkness. What happiness and bliss! How truly fulfilling that which is the cult of the dark...to awake once more.
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